When my study-abroad pal Michelle visited in November, she said kitchen conversations with my landlord and his girlfriend were like a sitcom. When Micaela, who speaks more German, visited in January, she offered a corrective: indie comedy-drama (more awkward silences than a sitcom.) After this morning's interaction with the housemate-who-is-the-landlord's-girlfriend, I have another suggestion: symbolist theater.
Scene: Kitchen, 11:00 a.m. I descend to make a cup of tea. Housemate springs to her feet as I enter, almost as if in alarm. Taking me in with a glance, she proceeds to examine the oven.
Me: …Hi!
Housemate: Mm.
[I put kettle on to boil]
Housemate: I have no bread. I must bake myself, for today is a holiday. Rolls.
Me: Oh… good for you. [joining her concerned examination] They look fine!
Housemate: Yes. I have no eggs. No milk. But I have baked them like this.
Me: The dough seems to have risen, in any case…
Housemate: I shall eat them soon; I am hungry.
Me: [awkward laughter.]
[Silence while tea steeps. I take out the garbage, for something to do. Returning, I add milk and prepare to leave.]
Me: Good luck with the rolls!
Housemate: I follow you. I need my laptop, for they will still take some time.
***
Maybe this is a normal conversation, and all my perceptions have been skewed. I don't even know. Part of my sense of absurdity may come from the fact that this housemate's Russian accent means her cadences don't express emotion in the ways I subconsciously expect. When, some weeks ago, she said "The first rose in the garden!" in tones expressive of boredom mingled with disgust, I felt impelled to reconsider months of communication in which she had seemed to view various things about me and/or the household with boredom and disgust.
Scene: Kitchen, 11:00 a.m. I descend to make a cup of tea. Housemate springs to her feet as I enter, almost as if in alarm. Taking me in with a glance, she proceeds to examine the oven.
Me: …Hi!
Housemate: Mm.
[I put kettle on to boil]
Housemate: I have no bread. I must bake myself, for today is a holiday. Rolls.
Me: Oh… good for you. [joining her concerned examination] They look fine!
Housemate: Yes. I have no eggs. No milk. But I have baked them like this.
Me: The dough seems to have risen, in any case…
Housemate: I shall eat them soon; I am hungry.
Me: [awkward laughter.]
[Silence while tea steeps. I take out the garbage, for something to do. Returning, I add milk and prepare to leave.]
Me: Good luck with the rolls!
Housemate: I follow you. I need my laptop, for they will still take some time.
***
Maybe this is a normal conversation, and all my perceptions have been skewed. I don't even know. Part of my sense of absurdity may come from the fact that this housemate's Russian accent means her cadences don't express emotion in the ways I subconsciously expect. When, some weeks ago, she said "The first rose in the garden!" in tones expressive of boredom mingled with disgust, I felt impelled to reconsider months of communication in which she had seemed to view various things about me and/or the household with boredom and disgust.
Oh my. I think you found the reason, it's totally her German. It's just rudimentary probably, and she additionally stresses out when she has to talk casually with somebody.
ReplyDeleteAside: really bad that she's "dating" the landlord, who sounds a jerk. That could be causing... er, additional stressing out.
Ah, you make an interesting point. That might be so; I just assumed that since she has lived/studied/worked in Germany for 10 years, she must be reasonably fluent. Perhaps not. I know that the landlord thing is massively sewn with red flags. :/ For what it's worth, she's older and (apparently) more solvent than I am, and expressed satisfaction with the relationship in a somewhat less halting kitchen conversation. So… it is the red-flag-sewn thing it is.
DeleteCreepy old... creep.
DeleteI know. :( He's only in his 30s, but definitely a creepy old... creep. Despite all the potentially-coercive factors, I don't know what to do, since it seems to make her happy (or at least happier than usual.) It's a mess.
Delete