I've had a lovely month, but an unusually busy and varied one, with one conference, two visits, and several concerts. All of this deserves to be blogged about. And it might be! But what's keeping me up right now (after a long day of travel and archival work) is what I'm going to write about. Today I rose early and got myself on a series of trains to Würzburg, to look at more of the Mainz-relevant holdings there. I spent a productive day in the archives, and then headed home, armed with end-of-day bakery-special-priced pretzels for dinner. And my evening lassitude was interrupted by the Schaffner. The ritual of displaying my Semesterticket regional train pass along with my German photo ID did not meet with the collector's approval. "That's no good," he said; "you can buy a ticket, or you can get off." I queried, with genuine surprise and some defensiveness, this judgment. I had looked up the information on the card online; Würzburg was on the map as an Übergangsgebiet. No, this was not good enough, and I should be grateful he wasn't fining me 40€. I bit my tongue, deeming it more prudent not to mention that I had traveled this line with this ticket before, and that several of his colleagues--including one no later ago than that morning!--had seen my trustingly, confidently displayed ticket and ID, and had passed on, without so much as a "Next time, young lady…" warning. Eventually, after some further conversation determining my route and destination, I was issued a ticket, which I paid for not quite meekly. "And next time," said the Schaffner, "you might look up the information on what ticket you need before you board, if you please." This was too much. "But I did look it up!" I protested. "And I thought Würzburg was…" "That's as may be," he replied, "but ignorance doesn't protect from punishment."
Ignorance doesn't protect from punishment. It's not the first time I've heard this phrase uttered by German officials (mostly on trains) and it is invariably uttered with relish. Not knowing is no excuse. The rule is: the rule-breaker should have known, and must face the consequences of ignorance, which are the same as the consequences of deceit, or laziness, or rebellion. Ignorance doesn't protect from punishment. Am I really this worked up because of a train official's being, well, officious? Because of having to pay a little upwards of 12€ for a necessary--and quite beautiful--train ride through northern Bavaria? No. Not really. The incident of the train ticket is an irritation. But the proverb… well, the proverb rings in my head like a condemnation. Ignorance doesn't protect from punishment. This might nowhere be more true than in the case of doing research. I am blessed to have in my life fellow-scholars who are generous with advice and knowledge. I have positive examples of how to do research (not to mention years of training in the methods of it.) But none of this can change the fact that no one in the world knows how to do this research. My research. My chosen, created, evolving, exasperating, exhilarating research. I love doing it. I know I'm privileged to do it. And I simply do not know if I am doing it well enough, efficiently enough, making the best use of the sources that are extant, and the time I have to work with them. My year is over halfway up. I only get one chance to do this. And ignorance does not protect from the punishment of working with a poorly selected or incomplete set of materials.
So that's what's keeping me up right now. But, to end on a positive note, I ate my newspaper-wrapped sandwiches here today:
Ignorance doesn't protect from punishment. It's not the first time I've heard this phrase uttered by German officials (mostly on trains) and it is invariably uttered with relish. Not knowing is no excuse. The rule is: the rule-breaker should have known, and must face the consequences of ignorance, which are the same as the consequences of deceit, or laziness, or rebellion. Ignorance doesn't protect from punishment. Am I really this worked up because of a train official's being, well, officious? Because of having to pay a little upwards of 12€ for a necessary--and quite beautiful--train ride through northern Bavaria? No. Not really. The incident of the train ticket is an irritation. But the proverb… well, the proverb rings in my head like a condemnation. Ignorance doesn't protect from punishment. This might nowhere be more true than in the case of doing research. I am blessed to have in my life fellow-scholars who are generous with advice and knowledge. I have positive examples of how to do research (not to mention years of training in the methods of it.) But none of this can change the fact that no one in the world knows how to do this research. My research. My chosen, created, evolving, exasperating, exhilarating research. I love doing it. I know I'm privileged to do it. And I simply do not know if I am doing it well enough, efficiently enough, making the best use of the sources that are extant, and the time I have to work with them. My year is over halfway up. I only get one chance to do this. And ignorance does not protect from the punishment of working with a poorly selected or incomplete set of materials.
So that's what's keeping me up right now. But, to end on a positive note, I ate my newspaper-wrapped sandwiches here today:
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